Don't worry about the lawyers: he has enough on you from your emails and texts that anything more wouldn't matter, especially in a no fault divorce state. You'll get half the marital assets and some alimony (though don't expect to live indefinitely at the lifestyle you are accustomed to), but I don't think that will happen as long as you do as he says now. Later I suspect you'll be back into a femdom/hotwife lifestyle, but it won't be as extreme - he doesn't trust you enough for that.
Both Gina and Rachel think I should at least go talk to a lawyer, just to know my options. They are convinced that my husband already has. But I don’t want to think along those lines. I love him and I want to save my marriage. To my mind, lawyers are just destructive.
So interesting. Seems like the shoe is definitely on the other foot now. I'm curious to see how far you'll go. It seems like he finally realized he has most of the actual power. Dying to see how you get Johny to end it with Dana knowing he can't have you either.
I dont think James really understood your husband. He's going to be at the bottom of the Pacific or 6 feet under in a hole in Mexico. I was kinda of wondering when your Husband would flex this side of him. Hope you realize just how powerful he is after all this
Some of us knew all along that your husband was the strength in this marriage. It took a real man to put his feelings aside and give you the freedom you thought you wanted. You have a real man. And it has nothing to do with dick size. He has to take charge now. You fucked it up.
In a way, it’s sexy how he’s stepped up.
In other ways, I am fearful of where this might end.
you need to take care how the dana johnny thing ends. it's a no win. the dude took her virginity, you can't expect him to be able to come over to the house again. be careful. this could turn bad as well
I'm disappointed with the readers who are now gloating over this tragic turn of events. I often wonder why they are filled with such anger towards you. You would think that you personally injured them or someone they loved The human race carries inside it a sadistic streak that is remarkable.
Thank you. The Germans have a word for it, which I can’t spell, lol.
ending johnny/Dana will not be easy. it may not be possible at all. Dana has feelings for johnny that go beyond lust. Johnny is more difficult to read. Sometimes it sounds as if it just about the sex and screwing with your husband's head. other time it sounds as if he too has real feelings for her. I believe your husband is naïve in thinking that you have any control over this. Even if Johnny agrees, Dana will be crushed. You will be blamed for this. it is way too complicated.
Dana is totally in love with this guy. And he’s very possessive over her. Johnny thinks he’s going to marry her. Which will never happen, but he thinks that. She inherits a huge sum of money from her grandfather’s trust when she turns 25, and another huge amount when she turns 30. And he knows that.
Your blog has been like crack for a lot of us who are curious, tempted & in awe of your lifestyle & the way in which instituting FemDom Principles into your marriage empowered you to exert a profound level of control over hubby. A line has been crossed through a dynamic you created & what's been fascinating is witnessing the palpable fear you're experiencing as your marriage teeters on the brink of collapse. In a certain respect your husband finally became the man you didn't believe he could be.
He certainly has changed, hasn’t he. It’s like his balls finally dropped.
That Dana and Johnny thing is going to be hard. any ideas on how you will approach it? do you have any influence with Johnny at this point in the game? He can be stubborn, as you well know. Do you think he will honor your request for secrecy about your history if you and husband push him about breaking up with Dana?
I have influence with Johnny, but not like I used to. If I ask him to break it off with Dana, he won’t do it. Same thing with Dana. She’s under his spell now.
If Johnny knows I did anything to break them up he’ll get pissed and possibly retaliate by revealing what he knows about my husband to Dana. If Dana knows I did anything to break them up she’ll never talk to me again.
Now the consequences of your silly game with Dana are about to unfold. I never realized how fully hubby was opposed to this. You know. He bears a good deal of the responsibility for this. he submitted to your desires about this. He could have prevented it . Your relationship had safe guards in place if either party thought things were dangerous or violated limits, time and time again he refused to use them. Johnny Marlon Paul. He did have a choice
Yes, he did. I saw the way he sucked Johnny’s cock those last few times. Motivated, getting after it, trying to please him. He didn’t look like he was totally hating it to me.
I wonder if you are rethinking the long post entitled "My Faggot Husband" the one in which you regretted that you could no longer think of him as a strong, alpha masculine take charge guy, a man you could respect and admire. right now it seems that you could say all of those things about him. Oh yeah. You might want to add loving, kind, loyal, strong willed, determined, calm in the face of chaos, resourceful and probably a whole lot more. Good luck in the days ahead.
"One more thing. I want Dana’s involvement with Johnny to end. I want that over and done with by the time I get back. Get that done." Wow. I already wanted the best for your husband, and for you all to be safe, but my respect for him just skyrocketed. And rose for you, with your reply. The "fickle emotions" and "don't fuck the guard" lines tell me your "faggot pussyboy" has lovingly humored you, but he's been a man all along. I think it was time he put his foot down. I wish you both the best.
I’m starting to suspect that maybe someone else is partially driving or at least influencing his reactions.
You wanted your husband to be more of a man, I think you have it right here. Going forward I suspect your relationship - whatever remains of it at least is going to be very different. He clearly loves you but James is going to go to no end to get what he wants and I suspect Dana is his next target in his twisted game.
Wow. Hubby is the man, "I want you to write out for me in chronological order everything you have done with your friend, and where." I love the smell of a high priced divorce attorney's team at work in the morning.
I’ve thought that that might be where this request is coming from. He’s almost never asked me those kinds of questions before.
"I want you to write out for me in chronological order everything you have done with your friend, and where. I do not need all the lurid details. Just the basics. I particularly need to know if others were involved. I do not suggest that you leave anything out. I need the truth from you." This will be a helpful document in the divorce. Don't forget to get it signed and notarized too.
I have no idea how I’m going to handle this. Obviously, I can’t tell him everything that happened. But I don’t know what he might already know either. Or of he even knows anything, and his request is just to get me to confess things for his lawyers.
I don’t like this conversation with him. I need to change it.
Hi. I have been following your tumbler for a while. Firstly I am GLAD you, hubby and Dana r fine. You MUST bond with your husband and do as he says like never before. I feel really bad that James trying to blackmail and demolish your, supportive, husband. I regret the situation reached to this point and pls for your own safety do as ur husband said. One again am glad your r safe and fine. May God bless u all :)
As if there aren't enough complications how the hell are you going to split Dana & Johnny. The last thing you need to do is piss off Johnny too, especially so suddenly as hubby demands. If he has no future with D & I presume no relations with you in the foreseeable whats stopping him opening up to D about all he knows? Especially complicated as he seems to be quite taken by her & of course she him. He breaks it off, she goes loopy leaves him one angry & frustrated guy. Not good potentially.
I know. It’s very complicated.
Dana really likes him, and Johnny’s totally crazy about her. Lately, he’s been spending almost every night with her. She hinted to me a few weeks ago that she was on the verge of asking him to move in with her, which didn’t go over well with my husband when I told him.
But my husband wants that relationship ended, and I intend to do what he wants. One way or another.
I left the house as he asked this afternoon. And just got back. He took more clothes, another suit case, and some things from his office, including his laptop.
Five minutes ago, I received this email from him:
I appreciate your doing as I asked today.
I want you to write out for me in chronological order everything you have done with your friend, and where. I do not need all the lurid details. Just the basics. I particularly need to know if others were involved. I do not suggest that you leave anything out. I need the truth from you.
I am not sure if you have heard, but things are a mess down in Cabo, so I am going to drive up the coast to Sea Ranch instead. In the event of an emergency, you can call me on my mobile. Your fickle emotions, however, are not my emergency.
I understand your concerns being at the house alone. I share them. I certainly do not want you feeling fearful or at risk of harm.
I have arranged to have someone stay with you while I am gone. A security type. He will be showing up at the house at 6pm. Let him in and do as he says. But please, do us all a favor and try not to fuck him.
One more thing. I want Dana’s involvement with Johnny to end. I want that over and done with by the time I get back. Get that done.
If it came to that, you having to give yourself to James, and do whatever he wanted, in exchange for him leaving your husband alone and dropping the threats or whatever, would you do that to save and protect your husband? Do you love him that much?
It sounds like James is blackmailing your husband. I think that's what he means by "complications". Have you thought of sacrificing yourself to protect your husband, and going to James and giving him whatever he wants? He probably just wants money.
I’ve thought about it, yes. If I knew for sure it would fix things, I’d seriously consider it. But knowing James, he wants more than just money. He wants me to be with him. I think that’s what the whole “three months” thing was all about; to get me away from my husband.
I did what you asked me to, and ended things with him. Since then I’ve exchanged a few emails with him, just trying to find out what he sent you, but that’s it. He wanted me to go see him, but I didn’t, because I know what he really wants.
I don’t mean to argue with you, but I’m scared. I’m scared to be here alone. James knows everything about the house. When you were in North Carolina, he was always coming over.
I removed his name from the entry list at the guard station, but if he really wanted to get in I’m sure he could.
I don’t feel safe. I feel like I should maybe stay somewhere else.
And what about Dana? We need to make sure she’s safe. I’m worried. James knows all about her. What do I tell her? Would it be okay if I asked Johnny to come over and stay with her? I know he’ll protect her.
Can you please not leave town right now? We need you here. Can you please come home? We don’t need to talk if you don’t want to. I’ll sleep in the guest room. I’ll do whatever you want. Please.
Emily also told me that you had contacted her. I have been staying with her the last several nights for the simple reason that she has been kind to me and understanding about this situation. That, and I enjoy her company.
Honestly, I am not in much of a mood to communicate with you right now. You are right that I need time to think about things. I ask that you respect that. When I am ready to talk, I will let you know.
Your “friend” has caused significant complications, to say the least.
I should have checked into his background a long time ago, before you got yourself involved with him. That was my mistake. According to what I have now found out, he is a very dangerous man. Armed robbery. Credit card fraud. Aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Domestic violence. Four and a half years in prison.
You need to stay away from him. No contact whatsoever. I will deal with him appropriately in due time.
I am going to run by the house Monday around noon to get some things I need. I would appreciate it if you were not there. I will be out by 3pm.
I have decided that since I have already planned to take off work, I am going to go down to Cabo for the week that we had planned to be there. I need to get away for a while, clear my head, and make some decisions. I will be going alone.
Regarding marriage counseling, while I am not entirely foreclosing the idea, I have decided that that’s not something I want to pursue right now. I have bigger and more immediate issues to deal with.
You keep asking what it was that your friend sent me. That is something I am going to have to discuss with you in person when I decide I am ready to do that. Suffice it to say that I am in shock about some of the things that you apparently did with him, and your apparent thoughts about me and our marriage.
When I told you we were forever, I meant what I said. But right now I am having a difficult time projecting that out in the same way I did and have before. Obviously, the parameters and assumptions have changed.
All of your kind thoughts and insightful comments, and even your not-so-kind remarks and caustic condemnations, have been extremely helpful to me.
Just the fact that you cared enough to take the time to write in means a lot to me.
At the request of so many, I’m going to go ahead and post them so you can all read them for yourselves. There are quite a few.
The interaction and feedback from you touches and warms my heart (when you’re nice and thoughtful), educates my brain (when you’re objective and motivated to help me understand things), and deservingly hurts my bottom (when you call and bitch me out for being such a selfish fool sometimes).
Seeing James, even texting him, is the biggest mistake of all. He should be a dead man for you right now, completely and utterly non existent. How come you are not enraged with him for what he did? If you go out of your house and need to see somebody for an explanation, it has to be your husband. Go to Emily, under her house and text him or her to get out and talk. Either do this, or stay in your home waiting for him to get back. Do not see James ever again in your life.
I am enraged with James. But I’m also trying to be practical about how I fix this.
Let's be honest: Obviously, the claim that you "need" to see James to learn what he sent is a pretext for seeing him. He's been totally discredited. What reasonable, impartial person could believe what he has to say on this subject? Do you think you will capitulate to his scheme, leave your husband and become his bitch once and for all? He sent that package to derail your marriage. Isn't it obvious?
I hear what you’re saying. And I know.
But on the other hand, I need to know what he did, what he said, what was in the box, what’s going on! The way my husband is reacting, it has to be something major. And to even begin to fix things with him, I need to know what it is. I need to know what he knows.
I know going to see James is not a good idea. I’m open to suggestions…
I would normally advise against going to see him after all that has gone especially your last encounter, but i do feel you need to find out what he has done you cant fix what you dont know he broke, just nothing sexual with him please xx
I really do need to find out! But there’s also no guarantee that if I go see him, he’ll even tell me. He can be very obstinate and stubborn.
The other thing is that, honestly, there’s a certain weakness I always feel in his presence. I’m so used to submitting to him totally and without question.
U are probably getting lots of unpleasant comments right now. Some may seem justified in their point. However u are in a difficult place and need to put them aside. My advise is to be honest with ur husband about everything, everything you have done and everything that you are. Your needs wants and desires, all of them. Keeping things from him (your husband after all) is what has probably hurt him the most. True love can survive anything. If he did not love you he would have left a long time ago
Thank you. I want to be totally honest with him about everything, in marriage counseling and otherwise. but there are some things I experienced with James and a few other men that as open-minded as my husband is, would probably freak him out and probably need to just stay in the past.
I've followed your blog on and off for a while. It sounds like the inevitable end to a wild and crazy ride. I hope the two of you don't implode and you both remain civil. you need to walk away with a small settlement and build a new supportive life for yourself.
Wow, what a turn of events. It is quite possible you've finally pushed him so far that his alpha side has emerged in your relationship. Your dominant free ride may be over and your hubby may make demands you may not like. Thoughts??
I deserve to be whipped in the public square. And worse.