Cuckold or Husband?
Well every couple is different. There are many variations to the FemDom/Hotwife/Cuckold lifestyle. Different people enjoy different aspects of it.
The two situations you describe, technically they’re the same, but I think in practice there are differences.
I think of a “cuckold” as a submissive man whose wife goes out and fucks other men… with or without his advance knowledge or consent… in large part because of his sexual inadequacies, and because she just wants to. He’s a man who has no choice in the matter, and is forced to accept it if he wants to stay with her. A cuckold’s access to the marital pussy is often restricted and sometimes denied altogether. I know one hotwife that I communicate with whose husband never gets to fuck her. Ever. He’s not permitted to see it, touch it, smell it, or taste it. There’s a certain humiliation aspect to being a cuckold. Usually he is ridiculed or teased about his cuckold status. Sometimes she makes his cuckold status clear public. When FemDom is incorporated into the relationship, her dominance over him ratchets up and his level of submission deepens. She may lock up his penis in chastity to control not only his orgasms but even his erections. She may choose to feminize him by making him wear panties. She may require that he perform “clean up” duties after she’s been with other men. She may fuck his ass with a strap-on. She may physically discipline him, spank him, etc. She may require him to suck cock, and link that to whether or not he gets any pussy. She may require that he submit to her bull’s cock.
Certainly by that definition, my hubby is a cuckold.
But not all hotwives think of their husbands as submissive cuckolds. In many relationships, it’s the husband who first introduced her to it, encourages her, and supports her. In some cases, he even helps her find potential bulls. And in some cases the husband is actually rather dominant and his wife is submissive to both him and to other men.